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Ego's Dark Side Crashing Business Success | Violette Business Services

Stop Your Ego’s Dark Side from Crashing Your Business Growth

One of the hardest things for a Visionary entrepreneur to do is turn loose of her business to help it thrive. As a business owner, a CEO, you grew it from a simple thought to the successful business you have today.

From the start, you did it all, from drafting the first business plan to managing your staff. You’ve been at the helm through every up and down, including the uncertainty and excitement of turning big ideas into reality, growing pains, choosing marketing strategies, and 101 other milestones.

All the while, you forged ahead, and your ego helped by reminding you that you were the only one who could transform your dreams and ideas into a thriving company.

As a result, your business thrived. Your ego kept you going by helping you see the future and the possibilities. As your company grew, your ego fulfilled a special mission by fueling your passion and desire. It gave you the strength to face anything.

You Could Do It All, Until Now

You know it’s time to let go, and the big decision to find your Integrator and let her have the reins is making you uneasy. Rather, it’s making your ego uneasy. That’s not a bad thing; it’s your ego asserting itself and trying to protect you.

As you know from your business growth, your ego is often an ally. It helps you find the strength to keep moving when things are difficult. It keeps you motivated because it reminds you of your purpose, your calling.

The Ego's Dark Side Rises

However, your ego has a shadow side. As much as it can spur you to keep moving, it can also hinder your business growth. It can keep you stuck because it says you must do it all. It tells you stories about you being the only one who can manage your staff, or that you’re the one who must meet with the vendors and sign the paperwork.

Just you. Only you.

As you might imagine, this anxiety and reluctance to let go do more harm than good. While it helps you temper any impulsive urges to let go too soon, it can also stop you from making the move at the right time.

In the end, it can make you fearful about turning over the management of your company to anyone else. In some cases, it can feel paralyzing.

The Ego's Dark Side is All About Fear

The ego’s dark side Thanks to your ego and its darkness, you’re afraid to let go. You want to keep roles and tasks for yourself. It may trip you up and leave you frustrated, frazzled, and afraid of letting anyone in to take management off your plate.

comes from one place: fear. Its job is to keep you safe, and while your business was growing, you felt safe. Your passion and your love for what you were doing fueled you. Ego felt no threats, so it never needed to step in to protect you. It knew you were safe, even during stressful times, because business growth was manageable, and you were in full charge.

Now? You know it’s time to let someone else in, but the ego doesn’t understand why. It doesn’t understand you can’t do it all. As a result, fear creeps in, and so does doubt.

What should you do when you know you need to turn things loose, but ego and fear rise?

You walk into the fear and do what you need to do, which is to hire your second-in-command, your Virtual COO, your Integrator.

Here's a little insight I've gained from recent clients who were also fearful of letting go.

Turning loose is not always about not trusting another person or your team. While many times that is the case, I've learned that the business owner who has a difficult time turning loose is acting from two types of fear.

First, she fears the further away she gets from the grassroots ideas that started the company, the business will change in ways she may not like. She wants business growth, and she wants to serve more people. However, as the company thrives, other people are doing the tasks she used to do that made her feel "good" (although overwhelmed and exhausted). As this happens more often with more tasks, the more disconnected she feels.

Second, she may fear the further away she moves from the day-to-day, she will be called into full accountability to focus on tasks, decisions, and actions that will grow the company. Business growth is scary. Insecurity sets in - she worries if she has what it takes to grow as a CEO.

In other words, if others take tasks off her plate, then she’ll be forced to step up. That’s a scary prospect.

How Do You Combat This Fear? 

First, know you’re not alone. You’re not the first CEO to experience this, and your Integrator understands what you’re going through. She’s there to help, and she’s seen it before.

Second, step into the fear. That’s counterintuitive, but the only way to the other side is through. Move into the fear and watch it dissipate. It may not be immediate, but as you take steps to hire your Integrator, it will lessen. These steps will soothe your ego.

Third, use the fear to your advantage. How? By taking your time hiring your second-in-command. Know exactly what you want and don’t want. Make a wish list of all the tasks and jobs you want your Integrator to assume. Interview well. Be picky. A true Integrator is rare and may take time to find.

Fourth, be patient with the process. You don’t want to jump the gun on hiring, and you also don’t want to overwhelm your second-in-command.

As you take your time with the process and feel the fear (but forge ahead anyway), you’ll be more relaxed and happier with your decision.

Are you ready to start a wish list of tasks your Integrator can take off your plate? Hop over to my YouTube channel to see the variety of tasks I can do and leave you free to dream, create, and grow. After you have your list in place, connect with me  for a discovery call to see if we’re a good fit.

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About the Author Brenda Violette, Professional Fractional Integrator for Companies Running on EOS®

Brenda Violette founded Violette Business Services, LLC, a Connecticut-based virtual business management and consulting company. Her company is a solo EOS Integrator™ practice. She partners exclusively with companies running on the Entrepreneurial Operating System® (EOS®) and works with an EOS Implementer™ (or has graduated!). Since 2008 she has been working with Visionary entrepreneurs to help them get unstuck at operational and organizational levels and get the most out of their businesses. As an entrepreneurial business owner herself, Brenda understands the Visionary mindset, their needs, and challenges. Her ability to adapt and keep the organization moving forward is a well-honed gift she brings to any entrepreneurial-led company. Brenda is a relentless learner and fiercely dedicated to growing her leadership and management skills by reading, training, and participating in organizations. She is a well-known and valued member of several EOS-based Visionary/Integrator communities, including a Rocket Fuel Mastery Program graduate, FIM, and an Advanced Integrator™ Mastery Forum Member in Rocket Fuel. Brenda is passionate about living her best EOS life and helping her clients to live theirs too! To learn more about how a Fractional Integrator™ can help you create big growth and sustainability visit

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